Hehehehe

'n Man wat voel hy het sy plek aan die hoof van sy huis verloor gaan koop vir hom een van daai self-help boeke met die titel "Die Hoof van jou
huis". Na hy die boek gelees het, stap hy heel vol vertroue by die sitkamer in.

"Vrou, van nou af is ek die hoof van hierdie huis", vertel hy haar terwyl sy sit en Egoli kyk. "Jy gaan nou opstaan en vir ons 'n lekker maaltyd voorberei, na ete gaan jy die skottelgoed was en vir my 'n lekker warm bad intap. As ek uit die bad uitklim verwag ek my nagklere klaar uitgesit op die bed en die bed mooi netjies skoon oorgetrek. More oggend as ek opstaan soek ek my ontbyt reg en as ek klaar geeët het.

Weet jy wie gaan my klere aantrek en my hare vir my kam?"

Sy kyk ongeërgd op en sê, "Die mense van AVBOB?"

 

ALTHEA's CAR!

 

So just after midnight last night I got up to go to the loo… when my phone started ringing… ALTHEA

 

So my lights are on and she thought I was still awake… so off I go in the cold in my slippers and Pj’s to check out her new car… but what is checking out a new car without going for a spin?

So I jumped into the care and off we went…

(A lil scary I must admit – NOT THAT YOU ARE A BAD DRIVER DUDE… just we know I hate getting into cars with another driver)

Must say the Atos is a nice zippy car, its awesome-ly cool and got ALL THE EXTRAS!

DUDE IT ROCKS!

 

Anywoo so my life is not boring at all…

 

I mean who gets up out of bed at midnight to go to the loo and ends up zipping around on Wittkoppen road?

ME ME ME ME ME MY LIFE NADA NOT BORING!

Strange....

So yesterday was one of those strange days…

 

Got this long mail from a friend (please note it’s a male friend that normally sends me ONE LINERS)

It was a lil cath up on what he has been up to and some random info that made me lol!

It was so good to hear from him, he is one of those close friends, that are closer to my heart then they know.

 

Anywoo we had not seen each other since… FOREVER… he missed my birthday too!

So we arranged to meet half way for a quick drink and catch up.

It was nice to see him, he has changed a little, you know just seems… HAPPIER! :0)

It was a nice quick visit, he got all the latest gossip from me and wanted to hear all about Matthew *Blush

 

So the quick drink was over and I headed off home…

 

A little sad… everything is so STRANGE… A little sad that we don’t get to see each other much anymore…. A little sad that I don’t have a clue what is happening in his life… A little sad that we were so close last year and some how it’s all changed… A little sad we grew up… A little sad that I know friends change… A little sad that we are in the same place, but so far apart… A little sad with all the modern technologies for staying in contact, we seems to lose touch so quickly….

 

Anywoo my friend…

If I don’t see you for a while (as usual)…. YOU SEND ME YOUR WEDDING INVITATION!

Miss ya xx

 

food for thought...

 

"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger".

 

– Arnold Palmer, American Golfer

 

What is a Senior Citizen??

A Senior Citizen is one who was here before:-

the pill, television, frozen foods, contact lenses, credit cards ...... and before Man walked on the moon.

 

For us, "Time Sharing" meant togetherness, not holiday homes, and a "chip" meant a piece of wood.  "Hardware" meant nuts and bolts, and "software" wasn't even a word.

 

We got married first, then lived together, and thought cleavage was something that butchers did.  A "Stud" was something that fastened a collar to a shirt, and "going all th way" meant staying on the bus to the bus depot.

 

We thought that "fast-food" was what you ate in lent; a "Big Mac" was an oversized raincoat and "crumpet" we had for tea.

 

In our days: "grass" was mown, "pot" was something you cooked in, "coke" was kept in the coal house and a "joint" was cooked on Sundays!

 

We are todays SENIOR CITIZENS.  A hardy bunch when you think how the world has changed!!!!!!!!

 

Best HOUSEWARMING GIFT

Mom and Dad,

THANKS FOR MY HEATER (the one you bought last year, cos dad was freezing when he came to visit)

It’s the BEST HOUSE WARMING GIFT EVER! (Literally and figuratively)

 

With temperate dipping below -3 Degrees Celsius today I really appreciated the heater being on this morning!

 

Boring... NEVER!

 

Never a dull a moment!

 

So I have concluded that I really don’t have a dull life after all…

 

You see yesterday I was off to the airport, now in JHB the 5pm rush carries on way beyond 7pm, as we are driving we see thousands of cars, all rushing, all driving recklessly, just to get home quicker.

I on the other hand fearing for my life (as I trust no one behind the steering wheel except myself) so we zig zag through traffic, at some stages we were not moving, joping it would get better… so after a while it was better and we were heading at normal speed to the airport.

 

Got to the airport, ciaos… its easy for me to drive in and out the airport… but Matthew was driving so got us to the parking nice and close to the exit and entrance.

Was good to out of the car.  Checked Matthew in.  Went to din dins (yummy Twisters). Then proceeded to say our good-byes as I wanted to get home.

 

Walking to the car found my parking ticket fast (this never happens to me, I always lose it or something) but my keys… my car keys… dig a lil more… no keys… call Matthew in a panic and he did not have them on him.  I walk to the car and find them still in the ignition of the car!

 

So now im a lil peeved… I’m stuck and really want to get out of there!

So ask the friendly security to assist me… we walked for miles… (thank goodness I had my pumps on and not heels).

We get to the parking terminal offices and the lady is not very helpful… we walked down to international terminals to find the SAP (why there I’m still not sure)…

So I beg and plead… but the lady recons I should call a locksmith… R450 NO WAY! I was not going to pay that! ALL I NEED IS A WIRE HANGER! COME ON HELP ME!

So I put on my sad face (I know this will work)… but no way is she helping!

So I walk outside, very angry and wanted to ask every person I see for a wire hanger!

 

So this builder guy askes me “Mam are you ok?”

I respond “No, I want to get home, my keys are in my car, my car is locked, and I feel like no one wants to assist me!”

He smiles “Mam its ok, what car do you drive.”

Me “Mazda 323, the easiest car to break in!”

He starts laughing asks me to wait, he proceeds to the office that I have just been and get a wire hanger from the lady (*the same lady that was telling me to call a Locksmith).

 

Now I’m a lil more peeved… bloody cow!

So we walk back… he turn and says “It’s a shortcut up here!”

Now the warning bells are going off… ARE YOU MAD?  IT’S A UNKNOWN MAN WITH A WIRE HANGER WANTING TO TAKE YOU UP SO DARK SPIRAL STAIRWELL NO NO DNT GO! WHO WILL FIND YOU! NO ONE KNOWS YOU HERE!”

 

So I say a prayer in my head and I know I’m safe… I believe that if I think positive, nothing bad WILL happen!

So up the dirty stairwell we going… its only 2 flights and we are right were my car is parked…

I feel calmer and the guy pops up the lock, the car is OPEN!

I am really happy, but security lets me know that I can’t have the key, as I need to prove its my car!

So I tell them whats in the boot and cubihole and they give my keys to me!

I am finally sorted and I was on my WAY!

Drove home safely and let Matthew know I was ok (think he was a lil stressed) and was another boring evening alone at home…

 

So I must admit, It was a adventure…

Guess my life is not really that boring afterall :0)

The old good one...

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

 

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,
American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibre, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Sowetan newspaper reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Zulu scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology.

Miss you...

The Fray – How To Save A Life

 

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

 

So this song is about a break-up or whateva…

I just have read the lyrics and realized that we actually hurt people so often without even knowing.

 

So to all the people… my friends (especially) I am sorry for not always being perfect (guess no one is)… Not always staying in touch… Not always visiting… not doing my best… I have always been blessed with so many friends… but some how these last few weeks… just feel like everyone is slipping away…

I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

:0)

Stupidity...

This is very important!

If you receive a miss call from a private number don't phone them back!

 

Ok yeah “sparky!”

Some people are really sooooooooooo stupid to send these warnings out!

 

5 things...

5 THINGS I REALLY LIKE:

 

1. The BLACK and RED WINE GUMS
2. Cuddles
3. Fruit Smoothies
4. Chicken Wraps or “Twisters”
5. Horses and Elephants

joke

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth?

A GUMMY BEAR!!!!

 

(Thanks SAN made my day!)

5 Things....

So my cousin, in Bloemfontein, and I were chatting the other night.

I was waiting in the car as San was at the doctor;

We got onto the topic of needles and how my cousin hates them, I progressed to tell her that I donate blood, but I hated frogs…

She thought it was really funny, as I am the older of the girls in our family and I’m always so strong, but deep down inside I really am a softy!

 

So here is a list of 5 STRANGE things I really dnt like:

1. Asparagus
2. The GREEN wine gums
3. Being tickled (It’s a known fact that I will kick, scream and bite if I get tickled)
4. Hate the colour YELLOW (Yet I have a yellow paintings in my bathroom)
5. FROGS scare the crap out of me (literally)

TO DO LIST

So yeah yeah I always believed in the TO DO LIST

But being unorganized as I am I have kinda lost the plot!

Seems like there is just not enough time in my day… I keep on having to think “Have I done it? Is there enough time? When can I do it?”

 

So I have implemented a new TO DO LIST!

And for the last 2 weeks it is working splendid, I guess I’m also getting more work done!

TO DO LIST!

Get a TO DO LIST

 

Loneliness is the scariest feeling.

 

Matthew has been away for 24 hours…

ITS BEEN 24 HOURS TOOOOOOOOOOOLONG!

 

I miss him so much, it’s SCARY!

We have spent allot of time together…seen each other for the last 5 months pretty much 24/7!

 

So the house seems a lil empty (and a lil bit more messy)

I keep on thinking he will be home when I get there, but he won’t!

So watching TV without a cuddle is no fun!

I keep on wanting to SMS and ask for favors to do around the house, but he is not there!

So going to the movies by myself will not be fun!

I keep on wanting to say “I’m RSVP-ing for 2!” but I know he won’t be coming with!

So there will be no “Come on Claudette go to bed, you cant sleep on the couch.”

I keep on hoping someone will tugg me into bed nicely… you know so NO cold can get in…

 

So loneliness is the scariest thing for me…

Sadness is the worst feeling!

 

Happiness is the best feeling!

 

FEBRUARY=THUG
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions