Ruth Makoe Salary Slip

 

 

 

 

Kind Regards,

 

Claudette Crouch

Personal Assistant / Assistant Recruiter

ELITE SEARCH AND SELECTION

 

011 462 8560 (tell)

086 520 1260 (fax to email)

011 462 94 69 (fax)

claudette@elitesearch.co.za 

www.e-litesearch.com

 

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Sent: 22 March 2007 02:40 PM
To: Claudette Crouch
Subject: Fax from:

 

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LAME but funny one...

What do you call a child whose mother is Colored and father Xhosa?

Corsa Lite

MUSIC MONTH!

Hi all,

Sorry the blog has been rather boring lately, but have had so many adventures and been busy!

I do not get any time really to BLOG at all!

 

So have been adding music lately as it captures the stuff going on a little…

I have a new cd player with kick@ss speakers in my car and this is my new journey for now.

MY MUSIC!

I forgot how I used to sit for hours in Dad’s computer room and make CD’s for roadtrips, for gifts for any excuse possible.

I would download the newest hits, sit for hours thinking of how I would mix it all and cram the best on a 80 min cd.

But yeah now I just kinda buy cd’s and hope for the best!

 

MUSIC IS A GREAT WAY TO EXPRESS HOW YOU FEEL…

RELEASE STRESS…

AND BE… well… ME… CRAZY CLAUDETTE!

 

SO go on…

Get in the car…

Pop in that GOLDEN OLDIE that you LOVE…

PLAY IT LOUD…

REALLY LOUD…

AND SING ALONG…

You will get out feeling energized and happy with all the “feel good” mood you have created!

 

GO ON DO IT!

 

LuCkY GiRl!!

I am a LUCKY GIRL!

I believe in Karma and hard work so I guess it all is paying off!

Short or looooooooooooong?

So cut my hair again and the debate rages on!

Should I stay with the short look or grow my hair looooooooooooong again?

There are so many pro’s and cons… really have to think about it!

 

Jordan, the little girl I babysit made this comment on Friday:

“Claudette every time I see you, you cut your hair, think you should stop it now, bcos next time I see you might be bald!”

 

If...

If you are the only one singing in church…

You must be singing at the wrong time!

- Damien Williams

Preacher at the Post Shepstone Church

 

Brilliant he is soooooooooo witty even while he is preaching!

Gummi Bears

Matthew and I had a little alone time on Sunday, so we slept in and later went to ClearWater Mall. (This is such a nice mall actually liked it allot!)

We had yummy sandwiches at JUCYLUCY and headed off to find something to buy, as that was my mission, I felt like buying something, just a lil something!

Went to the CD Stores and MIKA was sold out! Found MIKA at another store but too expensive so bought the GUMMI BEARS DVD Volume 1 & 2.

(YES YES I BOUGHT GUMMI BEARS… it’s my favorite!)

Bought a pack of playing cards, need to learn how to play POKER!

 

Went home, got pizza and watched GUMMI BEARS!

 

It was really different watching it now, compared to when I was 10, or younger.

I really like it, it’s innocent and playful!

Seems like the stuff kids are watching NOW is so full of violence! Really don’t enjoy it at all! SO GET YOUR KIDS TO WATCH GUMMI BEARS!

 

 

 

 

SSSSSS Sick!

Seems like WINTER is here!

Everyone is getting sick ;0(

 

GET BETTER SOON ALL OF YOU!

Pina Colada...

Heard this song again…

Thought of Nadine… MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

LOVE YOU!

Only 3 months and 12 sleeps then I get to see you again!

 

Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes

I was tired of my lady

We'd been together too long

Like a worn-out recording

Of a favorite song

So while she lay there sleeping

I read the paper in bed

And in the personal columns

There was this letter I read

"If you like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

If you're not into yoga

If you have half a brain

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes on the Cape

Then I'm the love that you've looked for

Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady

I know that sounds kind of mean

But me and my old lady

Have fallen into the same old dull routine

So I wrote to the paper

Took out a personal ad

And though I'm nobody's poet

I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

I'm not much into health food

I am into champagne

I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon

And cut through all this red-tape

At a bar called O'Malley's

Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes

And she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant

I knew the curve of her face

It was my own lovely lady

And she said, "Oh it's you."

Then we laughed for a moment

And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas

Getting caught in the rain

And the feel of the ocean

And the taste of champagne

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes of the Cape

You're the lady I've looked for

Come with me and escape

 

Thought for the day

"Just because I ROCK, does not mean I am made out of stone...."

 

From: ME, MYSELF AND IRENE

Before Close of Business?

What does BEFORE CLOSE OF BUSINESS TODAY mean?

 

Does it mean if the company hours are from 8:30 am to 16:30 pm that it is before 16:30?

I THOUGHT SO!?

 

Clearly I was mistaken!

It must be 16:00?

NO?

Mmm 15:30?

NO!!?

MMMM 14:00

NO NO!!??

MMMMMM (Really thinking hard) 13:00

NO NO NO NO!!!???

??????

ITS BEFORE NOON!

 

 

 

NO NO NO NO!!!??? U STUPID COW ITS NOT! AAAGGGGGGGGGGGGH!

HAVING ONE OF THE *&^%*&^% CAPITAL LETTERS DAY!
AND IT I DNT GET TO STRANGEL SOMEONE I WILL HURT MYSELF! (AND WE DNT WANT THAT!)

 

AGGGGGGRRRRRR!
OK DEEP BREATHS

DEEEEEEEEP BREATHS....

DEEEEEEEEEEP BREATHS....
DEEEEEEEEEEEEP BREATHS....

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper Breaths

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer breaths….

 

Ok calmer...

But can someone please let me know if I’m right or wrong?

 

SAN : I also have funny candidate news!

We have an open plan office, right?

 

So you can hearall the phones ring. And if somebody is not at their desk, and their phone rings, it is only polite to take the call and get a message.

 

ME:

"Cynthia's phone, good day"

 

Person..let's call him A. Hole:

"I am looking for Cynthia"

 

ME:

"She is not in, could I take a message?"

 

A.Hole:

"That is funny, reception has just said that they are putting me through to her"

 

ME:

"Reception did put you through to her phone, but she is not in"

 

A.Hole:

"I find that to be very funny, because reception said they are putting me through"

 

ME:

"Well, sir, we have an open plan office, I am looking at her desk, she is not here"

 

A.Hole:

"I find it funny"

 

ME:

"Reception can not see Cynthia's desk, so they can not know for sure whether she is in or not, me, on the other hand, can for certain say that she is not in, as I can see her desk and she is missing"

 

A. Hole:

"Oh..."

 

ME:

"Sir, could I take a message for her, that is the only way I can think to help you"

 

A. Hole:

"No, that is ok"

 

It is so sad that South Africans have become so suspicious...

 

Hehehehehe

Just heard a good chirp from a candidate:

(My boss used to do bodybuilding about 4 years ago and the candidate came to see her a few years ago, and he was commenting on this)

 

Candidate:      

“I have been here before a few years ago I’m sure!”

 

Me:                 

“Might have, as we have relocated offices but still the same staff.”

 

Candidate:      

“Yes the lady used to do bodybuilding I think?”

 

Me:                 

“Yes, but she no longer does it.”

 

Candidate:      

“Yeah I used to gym, but lately just doing the BELLY BUILDING!”

 

Me:                 

Giggles uncontrollably and shows the gentleman to the office

 

Now I really appreciated the honesty, but couldn’t stop giggling :-)

He has the biggest belly ever hehehehe!

 

 

Mom&Dad

I love you! I LoVe YoU!! I LOVE YOU!! i love you! I Love You!! i LoVe YoU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I love you! I LoVe YoU!! I LOVE YOU!! i love you! I Love You!! i LoVe YoU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I love you! I LoVe YoU!! I LOVE YOU!! i love you! I Love You!! i LoVe YoU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I love you! I LoVe YoU!! I LOVE YOU!! i love you! I Love You!! i LoVe YoU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I love you! I LoVe YoU!! I LOVE YOU!! i love you! I Love You!! i LoVe YoU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I love you! I LoVe YoU!! I LOVE YOU!! i love you! I Love You!! i LoVe YoU!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

W T F*&%!

Just wanted it out there…

 

Savage Garden - To The Moon&Back

She's taking her time making up the reasons

To justify all the hurt inside

Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes

Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one

They're saying "Mamma never loved her much"

And, "Daddy never keeps in touch

That's why she shies away from human affection"

But somewhere in a private place

She packs her bags for outer space

And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come

And she'll say to him

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll if you’ll be my baby

Got a ticket for a world where we belong

So would you be my baby?

She can't remember a time when she felt needed

If love was red then she was color blind

All her friends they've been tried for treason

And crimes that were never defined

She's saying "Love is like a barren place

And reaching out for human faith is like a journey

I just don't have a map for"

So baby's gonna take a dive and

Push the shift to overdrive

Send a signal that she's hanging

All her hopes on the stars

What a pleasant dream

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be my baby

Got a ticket for a world where we belong…

I LOViEs YOU!

 

Back at work :0(

Looooooooooooooooooong weekend over :0(

So back to work and the weekend is over!

Was nice to pop down to the coast the weekend, was very chilled.

Mom and dad made yummy food and kept us entertained.

 

Jolled a lil like old times in good old BACKLINE!

Music still hasn’t changed and was nice being able to know what was next!

ELLEN MISS YOU STACKS MY FRIEND!

Chilled and went a lil shopping, I got ears pierced, hair cut, went to church (twice), got a  radio for car, had naps, visited a few friends and all round relaxed and really let my hair down for the weekend!

 

Drive back was sooooooooooooooooo hectic… stuck at toll gates… but made it back safely!

 

THANKS MOM AND DAD!

YOU ARE THE BESTES!

LOVE YOU LOTS!

 

P.S. Althea missed you my friend! Thanks for being there last night was good chatting to ya again! YOU ROCK!

:o)

Almost home time!

Almost home time!

Almost home time!

 

 

Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby

(Da da daaa, da da daaa)
(Da da daaa, da da daaa)

Let it never be said, that romance is dead
Cos there’s so little else occupying my head
There is nothing I need except the function to breathe
But I’m not really fussed, doesn’t matter to me

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Know what ya doing, doing to me?
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa

Due to lack of interest tomorrow is cancelled
Let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held
Cos there’s nothing at all except the space in between
Finding out what you’re called and repeating your name

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya

Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Know what ya doing, doing to me?
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa, aaaa

Could it be, could it be that you’re joking with me
And you don’t really see you with me
Could it be, could it be that you’re joking with me
And you don’t really see you with me

[Instrumental]

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Know what ya doing, doing to me?
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa (Da da da, da da da)
What ya doing, doing to me?
Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa, aaaa (Da da da)

Few lame jokes!

Why did the bald guy paint little rabbits on his head?
From a distance they look like hares.

 

Why did the potato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

 

Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because he could not control his pupils.

 

Why did the pony cough?
He was a little hoarse.

 

When do doctors get angry?
When they run out of patients.

 

Why should you not tell a secret when a clock is around?
Because time will tell.

 

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

Missing

So what a morning!

 

Woke up nice and early, Matthew made me smoothie and I was running a lil late (as usual).

I got to the car and waited for San… waited for San… and waited for San….

After a grueling 15 min I decided I needed to call her… the phone is off… (San has issues with this phone)… So I decided to go check the flat… knocked on the door… nothing… she is not home… now this is rather odd, as she is a light sleeper and should wake up with the knocking that has now become loud banging with the odd yell for SAN! I’m a lil worried as I am not too sure where she went last night… is she ok?… We are running late for work… so attempt again with a yell and a bang at the door… no response… drive to work… mind is racing… WHERE IS SHE… She is responsible she wouldn’t not let me know if she was not feeling well… what is her flatmate’s number… where is she… where is she!... Where is SHE!!!

Get to work and try and stay calm… but how… where Is she… burst into tears… have a group hug and THINK… Think Dammit THINK!

… Phone Deon…”Did she go to movies? No she was with Stefan”… Call Stefan… Call Stefan!…Can’t get hold of him leave message… call again… I DEMAND U FIND HIM IT’S A EMERGENCY!... Estate agent might have number… why is her phone off?...Estate agents can’t give number… matter of a emergency B*TCH!... where is she!... where the *&*&^% is she!... Call security… phone off again… NO SAN WHERE ARE YOU!

CALM DOWN… phone phone phone… ring ring… please let it be her… no its not… panic… ring ring… “STEFAN! WHERE IS SHE?”… she mush be home… no ways… I broke down the door… WHERE IS SHE… “Matthew please help, break down the door, security might help… more calls”… WHERE IS SHE!!!!.... try and think… call mom… mom “Calm down, she must have overslept”… NO NO NO… WHERE IS SHE…

Ring ring… its not her…. Ring ring… its not her… ring ring… dammit! WHERE IS SHE… ring ring… 10 am… going insane… WHERE IS SHE!!!!!!!!... ring ring… its Matthew… San is fine… IM GOING TO WRING HER NECK!... she overslept… Ahhhh relieve… LOVE YOU… Dammit im sooooooooooo cross… coming to fetch u now…. Tears of you… SAN I LOVE YOU MAN!

 

So San’s phone died on her and her alarm never went off… she only woke up at 10 am… silly girl… panic stations… cos she is not the sleep in kind of girl… we love you u BLONDiE! SHE MADE ME FREAK OUT!

Now keys are being cut and numbers exchanged… regular updates too… dammit man this it JHB!

Ek gaan see toe!

 

Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!! Ek gaan see toe! Im going to da sea!!

Thought for the day...

 

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there".

– Yogi Berra, Hall of Fame American Baseball Player 

Rain...

Rain expected whole of Easter weekend!

I’m glum chum! :0(

Xhosa Girls Voicemails

Unbeeeeelivable!!!
 
Nomfazwe: Hi u have reached Nomfazwe, I'm not available at present.  Please leave your name and number and I will send u a 'PLEASE CALL ME' or a 'MISSED CALL'
 
Philile: Hi, I am not available to take your call at this point. Please leave a recharge voucher number, and I will call you as soon as possible.
 
Lumka: Hi, I'm sorry I can't speak to you right now. Please leave the recharge voucher number and I'll send u an SMS thanking you. Bye
  
VIVA XHOSA CHIKS VIVA!!!

Now I understand…. Could never really understand my friends and the constant “Please Call Me’s” and “Missed calls”

HouseHusbands

Gotta love this idea…

(I have been spoilt with Matthew being here to visit)

The girls at the office call him my “House Husband”

 

I think it’s a brilliant concept, better than having a maid!

He makes the beds, washes the dishes, vacuums, sweeps out the house, hoes out and pays the bills and even hangs up the washing!

 

It is a absolute pleasure to have him here… THANKS BABE! U DA BEST!… As Althea would say “YOU ROCK DUDE!”

Off to the SALON!

Yes yes this girly girl is off to the opening of a Beauty Salon tonight!

It’s sooooooooooo exciting! One of the girls, I met last year at hockey and lost contact with, has finally gotten her own salon and dropped me a invite!

 

I am looking forward to seeing her again as she is a sweetypie!

Will take pics and try and post them over the weekend!

 

Gotta run doll and get the hair and nails done…

Can u believe it I have become a girly girl!?

Extremely useful info!

HOW TO SURVIVE A SHARK ATTACK

1: Don't swim in the ocean. Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.

2: Listen out for the music. In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean,  listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws.
All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the doppler effect.

3: Swim with fat people. Try to surround yourself with more Appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

4: Don't go into the water without a knife. This is not to defend yourself but to stab the  person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely.....swim for your freekin’ life.

And finally.....

5: Don't panic. In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling.

 

Thought all the people going to the beach for holiday would appreciate this!

 

Song For Da Day!

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

You got a fast car…

Really have always loved this song… it is so applicable to me today… I am so excited about my holiday… just to get away… just to keep on driving… to have a good time…

I guess in our lives we are on a constant journey… a journey to our destiny?... dreams?... goals?

 

TAX is a B*tCh!

 

Buckle up!

The Easter weekend is THIS WEEKEND!

I hope everyone traveling in their cars are safely BUCKLED UP!

 

It’s safety first this weekend,

Slow down!

Speed Kills!

Buckle up!

Get there safe and sound :0)

 

 

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 21^st BIRTHDAY LOUIS!

 

All of the best my friend…

May you like a good one, age wonderfully!